Recently, I learned this life-lesson, again, when the owner of the house I have leased for seven years, chose to give me notice, rather than share his long-range plan to keep raising the amount (again).
Mindful attention noticed my mind gradually became moderately disturbed. I was anxious for my future, then angry, then sad and discouraged. I went to my writing practice to sort through my fear-based reactions.
Looking with ease and care for the message in my feeling states, I came to understand that I needed to consciously admit a gradually growing state of anxiety that this would happen when my lease went up for renewal in May. This was my part of the energetics!
I took some care that my perspectives as a long-term lease'e mattered and that my self-respect, self-compassion, and kindness with courage, would somehow make a difference if I chose to invite a dialogue with the house-owner. I met the I challenge and communicated clearly with compassion for us both.
Right away I felt re-aligned and settled with wise understanding regarding all the perspectives around the issues of Bend's rental market - for owners, as well as long-term rentors. We had respectful and friendly exchanges.
I admitted my concerns in the empowered humility of self-honesty, and shared my willingness to move forward with more courage to face into the facts, and still feel joy for the sense of happy stability my dwelling provides for me, my family and the community.
WE HAVE A CHOICE from Pema Chodron's book No Time To Loose
When someone harms us, they create the cause of their own suffering. They do this by strengthening habits that imprison them in a cycle of pain and confusion. It’s not that we are responsible for what someone else does, and certainly not that we should feel guilty. But when they harm us, we unintentionally become the means of their undoing. Had they looked on us with loving-kindness, however, we’d be the cause of their gathering virtue.
What I find helpful in this teaching is that what’s true for them is also true for me. The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it.